When you get your turn results in the mail it is very important that you squeeze as much enjoyment as possible out of that envelope! I recommend (and also use!) the following procedures.
First, open the envelope lengthwise with a letter opener. Remove the blue-sheet BUT DON'T LOOK AT IT! It may tell you that you are broke and owe RSI a lot of money. Flip it over instead! The blue-sheet will be used as a "hider" when you read the fight results line by line, so you don't see the end of the fight by mistake and ruin the excitement.
Remove the rest of the sheets in one smooth maneuver and place the flipped-over blue-sheet on top of the pile, without looking at anything. You don't want to accidentally uncover an unexpected replacement rollup. This is a traumatic experience that should be avoided at all costs, as it indicates that one of your battles didn't go exactly as planned.
Now you must prepare your room, or whever you are, for the battles. If you are suicidal, or a lousy manager, or a suicidally lousy manager, remove all sharp objects from the area. If you happen to manage an entire team of scummy warriors it is okay to leave a loaded musket nearby.
The next step is to put on music. It definitely adds to the experience to have your favorite tunes playing in the background, preferably AS LOUD AS YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH! I christen each new warrior with a song that is his and his alone, and play that song whenever it is his turn upon the sands. It is a personal choice but I recommend Judas Priest, Manowar or Metallica. Avoid Abba and Barry Manilow (like I had to say it). It is also important to match the song length with the expected length of the fight. Don't choose "The Immigrant Song" for your 21-con Ultra-Scum. Likewise, don't choose "Stairway to Heaven" for your quick lunger. Finally, sometimes it is nice to choose an exceptionally violent alternate selection for those Bloodfeuds.
Now you are almost ready! The final preparatory step (optional) is to prepare a pot of coffee. Beer also works well, especially on Fridays, but I understand that some managers are not Well-Suited to that particular beverage. I've heard the Duke Malibu in Solven drinks goat blood, but mind you this is only a rumor. For the final touch, try putting on any handy armor you have. Or a loin-cloth. I put on most of my hockey gear.
The fights are on! The music is loud! The coffee is good! Read the fights slowly, line by line using your blue-sheet as a guide. Don't go too fast, now. Yell, "Yeah!" if your warrior scores an especially gruesome hit. Cringe if your warrior feels the joys of a great axe connecting with his face (that means you, Marilith). Raise your fist in the air when that total parry realizes that his last shield has broken! And cry when your favorite gladiator is gravely injured and then takes ten consecutive war hammer shots to the head...
When the end of the fight comes you will be emotionally drained, so yell out, "Huzzah!!!" or "Damnnn!!!" or whatever, to take the edge off. When the fighting is ended take a breather before preparing for the next cycle's fights. Reflect on what has transpired and make a few notes. You'll be a better person (and manager) for it!
Isn't Duelmasters great?
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